it's been a long time since i added new post here....
this thing should be done last monday...
but i guess its still d same....
juz only few days late....
last monday at around 7.30 a.m. me n my frens n also another 500++ students enter the main hall of unisel...

then around 10 a.m. i receive my diploma from d chancellor....

words can't describe it....

although its juz 4 diploma, but its meaningful 2 me n all my frens....

i remember being nervous and all while waiting....

thank Allah that i got 2 sit with my frens since unisel didn't force us 2 sit according 2 the name list in d convo book....

since i got 2 sit 2gether with my frens, i got 2 chit chat with them n 2gether we help each other with our robe n mortarboard....
alhamdulillah nothing goes wrong....
sadly we all only had taken pic b4 our convocation started coz afterwards all of us scatter around taking pic...
but its better than 2 hv nothing....
2 all my fren, i pray 4 ur success in ur studies n ur future....
hope we can meet again another time....

i got my 1st nephew on 4th May....

mohd daniel faiz.....

so cute....

1st time seeing him face 2 face on 13th May....

1st time holding him on 15th May....

why didn't i hold him on d same night i 1st see him.....

coz i'm afraid....

hahaha....

love 2 see his peaceful looking face when sleeping....

yesterday got to see him smiling.....

so happy.....

kejap lg abah nak anta pi k.k.b.....

slase depan praktikal dh start.....

after this 2 weeks once br dpt bace e-novel ni smua.....

kt sana mane de wifi.....

kalau nak pki internet kne gi town.....

member ckp line broadband sane pun ssh kdg2 nak dpt.....

hua hua.....

rindu la saya pd internet.....

rindu la nanti dkt e-novel2 smua ni.....

banyak la yg t'tinggal nanti.....

huhuhu......

mcm mane pun, wish me luck.....

hopefully dpt wat yang t'baik tuk praktikal ni.....

nak dpt good grades and grad thn ni juga.....

insyaAllah.....

on same date as yesterday few years ago, 19/4/03 : i lost my mom......

today 20/4/11 : i lost my friend Joab......

and both days are the birthdays of my other friends.....

irony isn't it.....

Rest In Peace - In Memories (JOAB)

just now i read some news regarding of my beloved classmate......

he pass away around 12 to 1 just now.....

i can't believe he's gone......

i'll miss you Joab.....

i'll always remember you.....

thanks for coming into my life.....

thanks for making memories with me.....

thanks for being a part of my life.....

thanks for letting me be a part in your life.....

i'll never forget the teasing that i always did to you.....

i'll never forget how you respond to me and my friends teasing.....

may God bless your soul......

rest in peace Joab.....

tu miss annis.....

welcome back 2 blog world.....

seyes lawa blog ko.....

jeles lak rasa.....

tp aku mls nk 2kar layout dlu.....

nt je la....

bila mood dh dtg......

lama giler x update blog.....

ye la....

xde bende nar nak tulis.....

td time dinner, aku npk plastik ubat.....

tulis nama aku....

plek gak aku....

rupenye plastik ubat ms aku sakit thn lps.....

ubat thn muntah.....

br aku t'ingat nape aku asyik nak tdo je 2 hr 2.....

ingatkan sbb x ckp tdo.....

rupanya sbb 2 buat org ngantuk....

time 2 kalo mkn je muntah....

ye r....

appendiks la katakn.....

tp xpe....

pas ni xde appendiks lg yg nk kne buang.....

now my life is good.....

thank Allah 4 worst time of my life already gone....

habis last paper ri khamis 2 mmg wat aku tensen......

nape la susah sangat......

bole lak nk kuar idea gile time 2.....

kalo dh betul2 gile, confirm aku tepon babah time 2......

idea gile : suh abh kawen kn aku......

mengong x mengong namanya 2......

dh lah babah 2 jenis yg x ske dgr anak dia mention bende mcm ni......

kalo cpl pun x leh, nk gatei kawen 2 mmg bolayan la dgn babah.....

tp thank Allah, aku dpt hilangkn tensen aku mlm 2 gak.....

alhamdulillah.....

seb bek idea mengong aku 2 x spi kt babah lg.....

^__^

kalau awak tu jenis yang memang tak bercakap dengan ajnabi, tolong lah teruskan.....

tapi kalau saja nak create imej tu, tolong jangan jadi fake.....

i'm not perfect, but i still know what image i'm using.....

seriously i don't like people who create image kononnya tak bercakap dengan ajnabi......

tapi dalam diam dia buat.....

nak tau sangat reason dia.....

kalau betul tak cakap dengan ajnabi tu, tolong jaga pandangan mata tu.....

jangan buat zina mata......

dalam karya-karya sendiri, perli-perli orang yang berhubungan antara lelaki dan perempuan....

tapi kalau awak sendiri pun buat tak guna la.....

aku sendiri tak nak create image tuk diri sendiri, tapi orang lain dah label aku macam tu.....

bila aku pakai satu benda yang nampak lain, dorang tegur.....

sampaikan aku nak pakai benda tu pun dah rasa tak selesa sebab orang tegur......

so bila awak tu dah buat macam tu hilang terus respect ktorang.....

please earn your respect rightly.....

don't lose your respect because of this stupid image you create.....

trying to write my own novel......

seem like there's good progress if i imagine i'm the main character.....

haha......

nampak sangat tak pandai nak tulis cerita......

lepas habis class on monday, aku teman member pi anta lappy.....

saje la kau tanya kat budak tu pasal lappy aku yang aku anta ritu.....

ye la baru janat, tapi lepas 2/3 hari kuar warning windows not genuine.....

mana tak berapi......

bila tanya, budak tu leh lak nak ngelak.....

sakit hati aku.....

tak nak bertanggungjawab langsung.....

jangan harap boleh dapat rezeki halal kalo buat prangai macam tu.....

kalo minta maaf, still aku leh consider lagi......

ni tak, aku sebut je benda tu, muka dia berubah then dia pusing......

babeng giler la......

kelmarin kne wat microteaching.......

repeat balik.....

sdey je.....

tp lecturer ajar mcm ne nk wat yang bagus......

alhamdulillah.....

classmate smua suka tengok vid 2.....

padahal cilok org len nye from youtube.....

xpe la.....

nanti leh edit vid tu balik.....

madam pun puji lesson kitorang.....

laki dia pun ade bagi sket nasihat untuk lesson tu.....

thanks so much to 2 orang lecturer aku tu.....

kene marah macam mana pun, dia still nak ktorang wat the best......

thanks so much to Allah......

thanks to my partner mimi and those friends who helped a lot for my microteaching......

kul 9 nt ade test.....

tp bace nye x nak......

then leh lak nyanyi time2 camni.....

lagu spring - sampai hati.....

smua gara2 member sorang ni saja cakap yang aku x leh minum teh.....

t'keluar lagu ni......

siap alter lg nk kene kn dgn situation 2......

tah ape2.....

PEMILIK CINTAKU

plek betul la dengan orang yang couple bertahun-tahun bagai nak rak, then suddenly end up kahwin dengan orang lain.....

anak dara orang asyik diusung ke sana ke mari, siap dah jumpa parents......

tiba2 time kahwin, tengok orang yang disebelah nye tu lain......

tak ke sia2 bazirkan masa yang lama kononya nak memarak kan rasa kasih.....

tapi kalau kahwin dengan orang lain, marak lah sangat feeling tu.....

lagi satu, tukar2 couple.....

konon looking for the best guy and vice versa......

after few months couple break.....

bile tanya kenapa.....

alasan nya tak serasi, he's @ she's not the one for me......

kalau macam tu kenapa tak jadi kawan terlebih dahulu......

kalau berkawan surely nampak how dia behave......

lagi satu tak fikir ke.....

bila orang tengok perangai yang suka tukar2 couple, persepsi yang diberi "oh, budak tu playgirl @ playboy".......

suka ke bila orang lain mula start melabel diri tu macam tu......

another thing.....

you like this guy @ girl......

tapi that person rejected you.....

dari asal nye kawan dengan that person, you turn that person into your enemy.....

kalau tak boleh terima rejection tu, kenapa tak cuba faham perangai dia......

maybe dia dah serah kan hati dia dekat yang lain or that person just not into coupling stuff.....

bila dah jadikan orang tu enemy, benci kat dia......

macam mana hidup nak aman.....

orang tu pun nak hidup tenteram......

tak nak ada masalah.....

tapi kita nak cause problem kat dia.....

dia cakap baik2, kita treat dia teruk......

obviously la dia dah nampak perangai yang teruk.....

and tak pasal2 dia cakap dalam hati dia " thank god, i didn't accept her @ him"......

kalau dah kene reject tu, buat la macam biasa.....

kalau Allah dah nak jodohkan dia dengan diri tu, kan senang.....

takdelah si dia buat muka benci je sebab kene treat rudely before married.....

but for me, jodoh di tangan Allah......

cinta yang ada dalam diriku ini hanya akan ku beri pada bakal suamiku.....

~CINTAKU AKAN KUBERI PADA YANG SEPATUTNYA MENERIMA CINTAKU~

Goodbye…
By Munirah Aminullah (19 Mar 2006)

Sunday, 20 April 2003

It broke my heart when I saw the person that I loved most being laid down into her grave. I tried to hold back my tears. Being the eldest daughter, I had to be strong as I would take over my mother’s role. Everybody said that I was strong but only God knows how much I suffered inside. At home, I could not hold the tears much longer so I decided to take a nap, and hoped that somehow I could forget about it and wake up realizing that it was only a dream. But before I could fall asleep, I recalled the day I received the shocking news…

Two years ago when I was in Form 5 in a boarding school, Mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was painful for me when I heard the news. I called Mother and cried upon hearing her voice. However, Mother was very brave. Calmly, she told me to be patient and she asked me to pray for her well being. That weekend, my sister and I went home to see our mother. She has had her tumor removed. However, she had difficulty in moving her left arm. The cancer has invaded the axillary lymph nodes, thus much tissue around that area had to be removed. It was difficult for Mother to move around in that condition and she was helpless.

Life started to be difficult for our family. Mother had to undergo chemotherapy and she suffered from various side effects. A few hours after chemotherapy, Mother started vomiting and lost her appetite. Two weeks later, her hair started to fall. I was startled to see that but I said that it was cute…tried to lessen her sadness though I knew that it didn’t work.

Life went on as usual. Mother continued her work as a teacher but at times, she had to take leave from work. After SPM I stayed home and looked after her. I always accompanied her to the hospital because she had to undergo radiation therapy. Few months later, the SPM results were released. I passed with flying colours and I furthered my studies in a medical course in a local university. I promised to study hard to become a good doctor. Mother had completed all her treatment, and I thought that she was completely cured.

During my studies, Mother started complaining of bone pain. We thought that she has osteoporosis. Mother practised qi gong. Apparently, the pain lessened and she continued her exercises for a few months. Mother had always wanted to perform her first hajj to Mecca. During her medical checkup, Mother told the doctor about her bone pain and she was asked to do a bone scan. That was when our nightmares came back…her cancer had metastasised to most of her bones. It had been only a year after her surgery and now, this new problem arose. This time, Mother was given leave from her work for two whole years.

Mother visited a well known biochemist in Bangi who advised her to be cautious with her diet. Mother had to refrain from eating meat and all food with high amount of cholesterol and salt. We showed our support by eating the same food she ate, but that lasted only for a short period… it was so difficult eating them. I pitied Mother and I wondered if the same thing happened to me, would I be able to cope with it, the same way Mother did?

Despite her condition, her application to perform the hajj was successful and on 17 January 2003, Mother and Father started their journey to Mecca. My siblings and I felt half-hearted to see our parents going so far away. Everyday we waited for their news. One day, my father called. He said that Mother was hospitalized in Madinah because of fever due to the temperature difference. I was worried because I had not been able to speak to her but Father called again and told me that Mother had gotten well after a few days. The hajj season had passed and on 3^rd March 2003, our parents arrived in Malaysia. I was so happy to see them. That night, the whole family gathered and both Mother and Father told us about their journey.

A few weeks later, Mother complained of abdominal pain and she had not been able to eat. Her abdomen became enlarged and her skin - yellowish. During her follow-up, her doctor told her to do a CT scan of her abdomen. During that time, her condition deteriorated. After about two weeks, Mother was hospitalized. Then, on Wednesday 15 April 2003, Mother obtained her CT scan result. This time, the cancer had metastasized to her liver. At the hospital, my sister and I took turns to take care of Mother. On Thursday, Mother was transferred to the Palliative Unit. I took care of her on that day.

The next day, my aunt told me that Mother had requested to go home. She also told me that Mother had vomited blood. I listened in horror and at that time I only thought of the worst scenario. At about 10 a.m. Mother arrived at home and suddenly the house was full of people coming to visit her. Sometimes Mother appeared very weak and sometimes she chatted with us like she was healthy. That night my aunts stayed at our house to look after her. At 4 o’clock in the morning, Mother’s condition started to worsen. After that she was unconscious.

Yesterday morning, people came again to our house. Mother was still in a bad condition. My siblings and I took turns to teach her to recite the shahadah. We had accepted that she could no longer get well. Last night, Mother took her last breath at about 8.30 p.m., with the rest of the family beside her. Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I had to accept the fact that Allah loves her more than us. Goodbye, Mother.

~copied from College of Radiology~

this is d true story about my mother.

the author is my eldest sister......

*1 thing 4 sure.....

u r always in my heart.....*

baru je pasal valentine day kat blog miss khazinatul asrar......

betul ape yang di mention kan tu.....

kite memang dah sedia tau yang valentine tu haram di sisi Islam.....

nape jugak nak sambut......

nak sambut hari kematian saint valentine wat pe.....

penting ke.....

maulud nabi pun kite x sambut ye ye.....

valentine lak kite sbt bagai nak rak.....

aku tulis ni bukan sebab nak tunjuk bek.....

aku ni bukan nye bagus sangat.....

aku memang x sambut valentine....

serius cakap aku x sambut....

teringin nak makan chocolate org bagi ade la.....

ye ar....

pompuan mana x ske chocolate......

tapi aku memang nyesal abis la.....

aku memang x sambut valentine.....

tapi last year mase ade mamat tu call ckp nk bagi present kt aku, aku terus cakap aku x sambut valentine.....

tapi bile dia cakap happy valentine, aku boleh terkedu lak......

and boleh lak aku cakap thanks.....

ni sesal aku yang x berkesudahan.....

nape aku cakap thanks.....

bile aku cakap thanks tu sama jugak la macam aku celebrate valentine......

kadang-kadang tu aku rindu time blaja kat sekolah agam dulu masa form 1 sampai form 5.....

time tu mane pernah aku kesah dengan valentine.....

x pernah kitorang sebok2 crite pasal valentine.....

ye la....

smua tau valentine tu haram disambut umat Islam.....

time maulud nabi of course la cuti.....

tp kitorang mesti akan berarak keliling skolah then pi masjid skolah dengar ceramah.....

time tu hari jumaat so memang good timing la.....

coz hari-hari class sampai kul 4.30......

orang yang bagi ceramah tu pun bagus orang-orang dia.....

ustaz, mufti n9 (skang ni ex)......

rindu time dulu.....

dekat universiti skang x macam kat skolah.....

bukan semua involve.....

rase macam takde semangat.....

hopefully i can be like before.....

can always be involve in kuliah agama.....

but i still want to retain how i behave now coz before i'm too passive......

hopefully i can.....

yang ku cari bukan lelaki yang gagah perkasa......
bukan kacak seperti Yusof.....

bukan yang kaya, harta menimbun.....

tapi yang ku cari dia yang bisa memimpin ku.....

bawa daku ke arah yang benar.....

pimpin diriku dari tersasar dari jalan yang lurus.....

bawa daku merasai kebahagiaan sejati.....

aku tak perlukan cinta yang datang sebelum ijab.....

aku tak perlukan kau meluahkan rasa hati mu kepada ku sedangkan aku bukannya milikmu.....

aku tak sempurna maka aku tak mengharapkan kesempurnaan dalam dirimu.....

aku tak mempunyai peribadi yang mulia tapi aku mengharapkan kau mampu menasihati ku supaya tidak keterlaluan......

cinta sebelum ijab memang tak mampu aku beri.....

aku tak mampu menanggung seksa akibat cinta sebelum ijab.....

aku mahukan cinta selepas ijab yang memberi keberkatan......

aku mahu kan cinta yang diberkati Allah.....

hati ini masih belum bersedia untuk menerima cinta.....

kerana cinta yang hadir sentiasa membawa kegelisahan......

cinta yang hanya membawa keindahan palsu pada diri.....

cinta yang akan membuat kan aku hilang pertimbangan......

cinta yang membuat diri ini hilanga arah tuju.....

cinta sebelum ijab tidak akan aku beri kepada mana-mana lelaki......

kerna ia cinta yang melalaikan.....

cinta ku hanya pada yang satu......

cinta ku hanya pada lelaki yang bakal menjadi nakhoda bahtera rumahku.....

cinta ku hanya pada yang mampu membawa ku mencari kebahagiaan yang sebenar......

aku mencarikan teduhan syurga dari insan yang bakal menjadi ketua keluargaku.....

juz saw a pic of a nurse.....

t'ingat lak time kene admit masuk wad tuh.....

bosan giler time tuh.....

sebek la ado nurse practical borak tiap kali dorg wat round pass ubat, check temp smua tu.....

rindu lak nk jupe dak2 nurse 2.....

rajin layan aku borak.....

baik lak tu.....

thn je dorg dgn kerenah aku ni yg byk demand.....

tp aku x nk kne admit lg.....

mcm org x btui jo.....

mano x nyo.....

xde lappy + tenet + manga nk baco.....

mau mati kutu.....

but still time at hospital became one of my precious memory.....

especially 2 remind me not to get sick that made me admitted to the ward anymore.....

hampeh tul la.....

br je anto format coz windows not genuine.....

blk2 kuar warning suh den poie update window on9 la......

bilo dapek jo lappy kuar balek warning ni pas few days.....

kong hajo tul la....

torbang duit den 30.....

wat ponek jo poie nganto kek kodai ritu....

kuar peluh keringat den....

2 kali ulang blk poie kek kodai 2.....

dh la jauh.....

kok dokek takpo gak....

ni dokek 10 minit den jalan bwh cahaya matehari torik.....

2 br 1 way....

kali ompek dh 40 minit....

dh la skang ni paneh gilo.....

br jalan kojap jo dh poluh loncun.....

gaya mcm jln sojam.....

PEMILIK CINTAKU SETELAH ALLAH DAN RASUL

Definisi Cinta

Bahasa : Perkataan al-hubb atau al-hibb bererti cinta dan kasih sayang.Tahabbaba ilaihi ertinya dia mencintainya. Habiib bermakna kecintaan atau yang dicintai. Jama' hubb atau hibb ialah ahbaab, habbaan, habuub dan hababah.

Istilah : Kecenderungan atau ikatan hati yang b'laku antara kedua-dua belah pihak yang mencintai.

Bahaya Cinta Sebelum Kahwin

• Pasti kelak diriku ibarat lembu yg ditarik hidung oleh nafsu.
• Menyibukkan hati merindui makhluk yg tidak halal bagiku seumpama membuka pintu bg syaitan menjalankan jarumnya untuk melupakanku daripada-Nya.
• Hati akan terseksa dengan barah rindu.
• Rindu palsu akan membelenggu minda hingga ia terjajah dan terhina di bawah jajahan syaitan.
• Cinta lalai akan menyebabkanku alpa daripada mempersiapkan diri untuk keperluan dunia dan akhirat.
• Aku boleh menjadi tak rasional berfikir jika benar2 mabuk cinta.
• Fitnah cinta ibarat racun yg akan membunuh akal, kiwa dan perasaan.
• Jiwaku terganggu dalam menilai mana yang baik, mana yang buruk untuk diriku.
• Jika aku dan dia berjaya melangkah ke alam rumah tangga nescaya ia terbina atas dasar maksiat, yang mengundang padah kepada peribadi zuriat kami pastinya.

Nauzubillah

" Kalau suka, jumpalah ibu bapa. Sayangnya, tiada yang berani, tanda tak bersedia. Kalau tak sedia, kenapa nak bercinta? Bukankah itu pintu zina semata-mata? Nauzubillah. Aku berazam membangkitkan mereka daripada kelalaian fitnah wanita dia akhir zaman dengan sebuah prinsip dan ketegasan."

- Dipetik daripada "PEMILIK CINTAKU SETELAH ALLAH DAN RASUL' karya FATIMAH SYARHA MOHD NOORDIN -

after reading PEMILIK CINTAKU SETELAH ALLAH DAN RASUL made me realise something....

really touch my heart.....

felt like crying.....

she who hv found d true love after so many dugaan all d way.....

tp aku.....

cita2 nk jd mcm Khazinatul Asrar.....

tp prangai jauh panggang dr api....

hoping 4 a gud guy 2 b my future husband.....

tp behaviour s'diri x sebaik Khadijah @ Aisyah @ any Rasulullah s.a.w's wife.....

author book ni very patience and lucky.....

all those dugaan yg dtg dia hadapi dgn tabah.....

i wish i can b like her.....

mayb its not easy....

i'm too different....

but i'll b my own Khazinatul Asrar.....

b strong heart....

don't bother bout those dugaan yg dtg from makhluk b'nama lelaki......

wait 4 ur own fated person 2 arrive.....

insyaAllah there will b 1.....

calm ur heart....

don't let those pujuk rayu 2 disturb u.....

when d time comes, u'll meet him....

insyaAllah......

td pi mkn kt tpt bese dgn member.....

cam bese aku mintak la nasi goreng ladna.....

order aku spi cpt gak ar coz kt meja aku yg spi dlu nasi putih tuk 2 member aku......

t'kejut gler aku coz atas nasi 2 ade kulit tomato dia wat mcm bunga ros....

malu gler kne bahan dgn bebudak 2.....

member aku sorg prasan yg tkg msk 2 pusing pdg kt meja aku.....

tkg msk 2 dh la ske ngusik org......

leh lak kne cam 2.....

malu 2.....

bile aku bg udang kt member aku psl mls nk kopek kulit yg tang ekor 2, skali member aku ckp kulit 2 dh dia tanggal kn......

lg skali kne.....

member aku yg len xde pun kne.....

malu nk mampus aku.....

got 2 chat wit my dearest cousin.....

alhamdulillah......

glad that i can know how he's doing now......

saturday nite, attended tesl nite......

really njoy myself there......

love d food coz nasi arab 1 of my fave......

but 2wards d end they make it into like disco......

d theme is arabic/formal......

but d behaviour really not arabic......

well since d dean n all lecturer has gone back home......

they can do all that......

but overall i'm njoying myself......

	Fat Boy Slim - The Rockafeller Skank .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

dreamt of adik this evening.....

2nd time already.....

theme almost d same.....

really scares me.....

even if we're not related at all.....

but i don't want this relationship 2 change.....

i'll always b his akak senior.....

thats what i want....

juz some thoughts

let me go.....

let me drown in the sea of happiness.....

let me find my own way.....

i'm not some getaway for u.....

i'm juz me n will always b me......

n u will always look 4 something i cannot b......

Sakura

Sakura

* Sakura no you na kimi deshita
Haru no you na koi deshita
Itsu mademo tsuzuite yuku to
Sonna ki ga shiteta
Kaze ga fuite chiru you ni
Harahara to chiru you ni
Ano kaze ga tsuresatte yuku
Matte matte boku no sakura
** Sakura

Totsuzen no deai kyoushitsu de futari
Nante koto nai serifu bakari
Demo boku ni totte wa zenbu wasurenai
Kitto isshou wasurenai

Chiriyuku kara kirei nan datte sa
Sonna koto shiranai boku ni
Nani ga dekitatte iu no sa

*

**

Kotoba ni naranai kimi no "sayonara" ni
Mada ukeirerarenai koto bakari
Demo boku no mae ni mou kimi wa mienai
Nukegara sae konagona ni

Hakanai kara kirei nan datte sa
Sonna koto hai iro ni natta ima
Kikitakunai no sa

*

*
**

Ra ra rabu sakura...

asgmt x start2 lg.....

planning ade dh....

tp ble nk start.....

2mrw gak la kot.....

kang tah ble lak nk siap.....

notes nk kne bace lg.....

next week midterm....

god help me.....

kauthar aminullah......

jgn mls2 lg......

mlm td tgk org jais dtg.....

dgr citer byk hasil nye.....

tah baper rmi la kne tangkap......

2 r nk date 2 plh port elok sket......

mmg

mlm td tgk org jais dtg.....

dgr citer byk hasil nye.....

tah baper rmi la kne tangkap......

2 r nk date 2 plh port elok sket......

mmg r nk romantik.....

tp kalo dh kne tangkap.....

romantik la sgt......